a magical time in every girl's life

today i learned how to operate a power drill. (and by that i mean that i taught myself how to operate a power drill.)

i am finally a woman.

backing up. i managed to land a full-time job painting houses over the summer.

now that i think about it, maybe "landed" isn't exactly the right word. after all, when ken (my boss's boss's boss - or is it "my boss' boss' boss"?) interviewed me back in april the only question he asked was, "so, do you want the job?"

anyway, yesterday was my first day on the job and so far it's been like ten times more laid back than i thought it would be.

case in point:

dan (my boss) says, "kate, go ahead and put the numbers back on the house."

i say, "okay. should i use the power drill?"

dan, "yeah."

me, "i've never used a power drill before. maybe adam should do it instead."

dan, "you can handle it. it's easy."

dan, he hands me your basic power drill, completely covered in so many different shades of exterior house paint it'd be impossible to count them all.

me, "okay."

me, i put the numbers back on the house, 8-3-2, in that order, giggling the whole time because i am absolutely drunk with power.

but all of that changed once dan had me climb up onto the roof, let me tell you. i was scared, but not too scared to get the job done. dan, he was up on both feet walking across the roof with ease, doing cartwheels and laughing in my fucking face.

not really. dan's a good egg, as far as i'm concerned.

"paint right here," dan says, pointing at three unpainted panels that are at about eye level.

"will i have to stand?" i say, slowly but surely making my way over to where he's standing, pointing. dan walks up to the edge the rooftop where the gutter is and shifts his weight from foot to foot and acts as if, as bryan would say, "it ain't no thang." but me, i'm scooting.

"not if you can do it sitting."

my back is up against the house. never has my posture been this perfect, not even at piano lessons this past friday. i'm sliding my ass inch by inch across the roof, towards where dan is standing patiently waiting for me. i'm thinking, dan is a saint. but i'm also thinking, I'M GOING TO LOSE MY FOOTING AND FALL OFF THE ROOF AND CRACK MY HEAD OPEN ON THE PAVEMENT AND DIE INSTANTLY.

i stand. somehow, i stand.

"you'll be okay," dan says, and i laugh because he sounds just like a suicide hotline operator.

i do a sloppy job and i know it, because i want to get this over with as fast as possible so i can get right the fuck off this roof and back onto solid ground. dan and adam both help me down. dan holds my hand and adam holds the ladder.

i collapse onto the grass and cry out towards the heavens with my eyes squeezed tightly shut, "THANK GOD!"

and dan says, "kate, take fifteen."

but unfortuately, diary, it's time for me to wrap up this entry, because pablo the cat is licking at one of my thongs (thankfully it's one that i'm not currently wearing at the moment [i just realized that that makes it sound like i'm wearing more than one thong right now, which is certainly not the case]).

however it is you're supposed to conclude diary entries,
kate