we've misjudged the kkk

big news, you guys. once again, we americans have been misled by the media. except this time, the media somehow managed to keep up the charade for like 150 years.

so as it turns out, the kkk isn't racist. no, really. i didn't believe it at first either, but it's true.

here's the thing: the kkk has nothing against nonwhites. it just doesn't want them here in america, is all. which makes perfect sense, because after all, whites were the ones who founded this country in the first place. plus, god is behind separatism 100%. the bible says so. i think it does, at least. i haven't actually read the bible (that doesn't make me any less christian, does it?), but that's what it says on the kkk's homepage, so it must be true.

speaking of the kkk's homepage, it's got rainbows all over it, you guys. that, and animated *.gifs. that right there proves that the kkk is actually a love group and not a hate group. because racists are into like, swastikas and machine guns, not rainbows.

anyway. according to the bible, god is a big fan of diversity and separatism, whereas satan is a die-hard advocate of "race mixing."

"race mixing is satanic." so there. you heard it straight from god. or from the kkk's homepage, anyway.

you know what else is satanic, besides race mixing? affirmative action. i think the kkk says it best: "Promotions, hiring and scholarships should be based on ability and not upon a person's race."

in other words, the kkk is against affirmative action because it discriminates based on race, even though the kkk discourages its members from fraternizing with nonwhites. but that's not discrimination at all. it's just... I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, I JUST DON'T KNOW.

i'm currently enrolled in an english composition class, and right now we're in the middle of drafting our final paper of the semester. the paper is supposed to be about a public controversy of our choosing, but there's a catch - the public controversy of our choosing has to be approved by the professor first. the topic i pitched was about how more and more americans, in the media and in the government and in general, are blaming school shootings on the video game industry. the professor rejected my topic proposal outright and assigned me this topic instead: "christian terrorist groups (like the kkk) as representatives of christianity." i'm convinced that he assigned me this particular topic because he has a sick sense of humor.

today in class we swapped papers and read them over and thought up feedback. peer editing, all of that bullshit. after reading my 5-page paper all about the kkk, a fellow classmate of mine said, "so have you warmed up to the topic it at all, now that you've written the paper?"

and i said, "you know what? no. because i had to look at the kkk's homepage and read up on its political platform. i felt fucking violated after that, let me tell you. there were rainbows and american flags everywhere, too. the whole works. like they're trying to put a happy face on the fact that they fucking kill black people."

of course, the kkk denies that fact. the fact that its responsible for hate crimes and the subsequent deaths of thousands of blacks, i mean. because technically the name "ku klux klan" in and of itself is public domain, which means that anybody with a racist agenda can claim to be a klansman. so whites pretending to be klansmen kill blacks, not actual klansmen. OF COURSE. it all makes sense now.

in other news, apparently there's a farm somewhere on the st. paul campus. it belongs to the college of agriculture, i guess. and at this farm, they, according to jackie, "teach you how to raise farm animals and grow shit."