send a forward, get a goat

ditzy00girlie: You have to try this!!!!!! It's called the 'mind reader' it's soooooo freaky. If you send this to ten people and then press shift+F1 your crush's name will pop up in big letters. I swear it works!!!!!

I think whoever began this chain of idiocy left the part about smoking an 8-ball of crack out of the instructions.

What disappoints me every time is that the forwards somehow never pick up any creativity on their twisted paths ridden with money trees and magic beans. This forward could be improved infinitely just by making a few... minor changes...

Dude, if you don't try this your computer will erupt in an inferno and tech support won't help you! [Insert emoticon filled with shock and suffering here.] It's called the 'mind reader,' it'll make you wet your pants. If you send this message to ten people and press Alt + F4, your crush's name will pop up in big letters. I swear it works! If you want to add to the fun, send it to seventy-three more people and rip your face off and staple it on again backwards. Once the bleeding stops, look at the blood smeared all over your shirt and you'll see a blurry image of your crush, NAKED! [Insert gasping emoticon here.] If your life is so dull you want to end it right now, send this message over and over again to a person with a 28.8k modem (my mommy says this is called 'flooding,' but my mommy also puts her jacket in the oven, so maybe my mommy isn't the best source of information), and within twenty minutes, your arm will be ripped off and used as a club against you. I swear it works, try it! PLEASE! PLEASE TRY IT! MY COUNTRY WILL BUY ME A GOAT IF YOU TRY IT!