'pity sponges'

I just read about 25 entries of the most pathetic diary I've ever seen in all my livelong days. Seriously, a minute-by-minute account of the guy's life would've been more intriguing. I just kept reading entires regardless, thinking, 'Okay, this has to get more interesting eventually.' Allow me to create an outline of what the average entry consisted of.

1) How the nameless condition his grandfather is suffering from is coming along.

2) How he played either Suikoden 2 or Chrono Trigger that day.

3) How he doesn't want to get a job.

4) How a random friendship of his is doing (usually badly).

This is what we call a 'pity sponge' in KateLand (where chaos roams free). One of the many 'pity sponge' warning signs is when he or she uses the phrase 'How are you?' to feed on one's empathy. Let me proceed to sketch an example for you.

PITY SPONGE: Hi.
YOU: Hey.
PITY SPONGE: How are you?
YOU: Great. And you?
PITY SPONGE: Horrible! The neighbor kids chased my dog with a cattle prod and pounded its head into a bloody nub!
YOU: That's terrible! How's your dog doing?
PITY SPONGE: They killed it, you insensitive ass!
YOU: Oh. Sorry. I hope you feel better soon.
PITY SPONGE: BRB, I have to go get a spoon so that I can commit an ungodly suicide and slowly wither away in a pool of my own chilly blood.
YOU: Okay.

Now don't get me wrong, manipulating the conversation in this way is acceptable every once in awhile. However, when it's all one does when one speaks with/to a certain person, that makes one a 'pity sponge.'

If someone you know is a 'pity sponge,' please take it upon yourself to rip their heart out with your bare hand and save the rest of us the trouble, all right?

Thanks.