did you know?

1. i once had a crush on a boy who rejoiced over the untimely death of his ex-girlfriend because she dumped him the year before. i shit you not. in my defense, by that point i had long since gotten over my crush on him.

2. i'm officially employed at a professional photography studio in roseville, but today i filled in for a photographer at the minnetonka studio. and let me tell you, the minnetonka studio is downright impressive. at first glance, at least. it's incredibly spacious compared to the roseville studio despite the fact that the roseville studio is twice as busy. there's even a tv set and a sofa. and a changing room.

but it was hot and humid (just like it is outside today). that in and of itself was enough to make me want to pull my hair out, let me tell you. i am, after all, kate the heat-hater.

on top of that, one of the camera rooms has glass walls. that means that whoever is in the camera room is not only busting her ass practically standing on her fucking head in an oftentimes vain attempt to coax a smile out of her subject(s), but she's being scrutinized by outsiders at the same time. fuck that noise all the way home, i say.

but the worst part by far is that all of the computers at the minnetonka studio are lined up in the lobby, out in the open. at the roseville studio they're out of sight.

so today i'm "enhancing" a family's photos - fyi, enhanced photos are ones that have borders, captions, black-and-white or sepia tints, vignettes, etc. added onto them - when said family shows up early to view their photos and finds out that they aren't ready to view yet, stands directly behind me, and critiques each and every photo as i'm enhancing them. in other words, as i'm doing my job.

p.s., apparently the mom decided that knee-length black shorts and black-and-white ankle-high socks were perfectly acceptable attire for her formal family portraits. shout-out to the mom: LADY, YOU LOOKED RIDICULOUS AND IT TOOK ALL I HAD NOT TO LAUGH IN YOUR FACE.

anyway. like most people, i don't like it when people watch me work over my shoulder. i don't like it when people watch me do anything over my shoulder, for that matter. in fact, i hate it. so i say, "um, your pictures are not yet ready to view."

and the dad laughs and says, "we know. we're just watching you play!"

and i say, "sir, i am not playing. i am working."

unfortunately he doesn't take the hint. "well, you're playing at work."

and i say, "no, i'm not. so back off, okay? otherwise i'll track you down the next time you're at work and watch you do your job - i.e., sucking cock all day long - over your shoulder. how would you like that? huh?"

just kidding. in actually i say nothing because i don't know what else to do.

3. my boyfriend is like ten times better than yours, and here's why: before school let out he and i were at the dorm when we found my roommate's disposable camera just lying around and decided to have a little fun. this past week she finally had the film developed.