monday, monday

i wrote this earlier today. for the first time since pat left over a month ago i played suikoden iv and was really making progress. i put in almost exactly 6 hours of gameplay. and then i accidentally saved when i shouldn't have and now i have to start all over again or else i won't the good ending. i totally felt like crying. ugh.

but first, 2 things:

1. i need these

but you can only get them when you purchase a t-shirt off tokidoki, and i most definitely do not need any more t-shirts. i have sworn off t-shirts.

2. award winning actor alan cumming is coming out with a new fragrance line.

and that's not all. that's just the cologne, which is a combination of "three distinct talents to bring you a scent that is all about Sex, Scotch, Cigars and Scotland" (click here for more). there is also an air freshener ("CUMMING in the air") and a cream ("CUMMING all over").

like jon stewart, i am speechless.

monday, may 31, 2004

monday was... interesting.

during the past year i have been asked what has seemed like a thousand times why i went to japan, and no 2 people have gotten the same answer.

because of my love affair with japan and the japanese language.

because i want to get a job as a translator/interpretor and possibly live in japan someday.

because with pat gone nothing is keeping me here.

because i want to study and learn about cultures other than my own.

because i broke up with america.

but in actuality i didn't trust myself not to cheat on pat a second time, which is why i had to cut ties with chance in the first place, and i desperately wanted to believe that if i changed enough pat would fall in love with me again. what's interesting is that in retrospect i think he loved me more then. but i love me more now.

even at the time i knew that i was running away and blah blah blah, but i also knew that it was something i had to do and that eventually it would turn into something i was doing for myself and not for pat or for anybody else. and it did. on monday.

on monday i checked out book 1 of cirque du freak, a 10-book fictional series for young adults about vampires. in my defense, i didn't know at the time that the school library had books for adults.

speaking of the school library... in the library there were paper chains strung from the ceiling, and after months of absentmindedly noticing them i finally decided to go check them out. as it turned out the chains had messages of encouragement written on them by american elementary school students after the great hanshin (kobe) earthquake in '95. i read a few of the messages and actually found one from a boy who used to live just down the street and is currently attending yale! i couldn't believe it. he and resa's older brother used to be best friends and every once in awhile the 4 of us would play board games, like solar monopoly and star trek (fuck you both). it's a small world, as they say.

anyway, back to monday. somehow ashley and i got on the subject of suicide. in the middle of our conversation hyemi and susan showed up and hyemi said, "what are you guys talking about?" annoyed at the interruption, i turned to hyemi, said, "suicide," and then turned back to ashley and picked up where i'd left off, all in 2 seconds.

i don't know. it was funny at the time but i think, like a lot of stories, it loses something in the retelling. oh well, good thing it's not for you.

on monday, i didn't go to gakupa practice because i had an upset stomach, and i was so distracted reading that i missed my bus stop.