fun with numbers

2 �Tuesday was the state writing exam. An essay that took most less than two hours to write took me five. For first and second period, sophomores reported to their designated testing rooms. Those who hadn't finished by then were led to a lecture hall. By fourth period, we were told that a film studies class was in need of the lecture hall, so the four of us remaining were escorted to the athletic office, a room occupied by a large oaken table and plush swivel chairs. It was around noon when I finished. Days afterwards people still assumed I was absent. A few marveled that over my ability to procrastinate.

3 �I smiled and said nothing in response. Because it actually took me those five hours to write the essay. I procrastinate like a motherfucker, but. But. I did not use the state writing exam as a ticket out of class. Although that sweetened the pot.

4 �I signed online today after Pat left for work and read two consecutive entries about car accidents (her and her). And the session of drivers' training I'll be attending starts on Monday.

5 �How happy does this make me? Not very.

6 �In other news, I found a website that wards off spam (click here for more information). Anyone with a Hotmail account will understand, because, well. Why ruin the surprise?

7 �Mr. Browne, my band teacher who, in the words of my dad, considers himself a deity (in the band handbook, there's a revised list of the ten commandments pertaining to band class), wasn't at school today. According to the substitute he stayed home because his daughter is sick.

8 �I decided today that children have a purpose: acting as a cock gobbler snare.

9 �In gym class, I chose to participate in the gymnastics instead of basketball, which is proving to be a mistake. The only skill I have been able to master thus far is the "forward roll," which is a somersault in disguise. Today the vault tried to eat me. I didn't come close to breaking my neck like this one girl, and I didn't twist my ankle like this other girl (two hot guys carried her to the nurse's office, and three other girls feigned maimed ankles afterwards), but I did bruise my knee. I was limping for awhile, and ascending the stairs to math class was a chore.

10  Pat got me this necklace for Christmas that I wear every day, and my hair often gets caught on the clasp. I'd like to think this happens for some grand romantic reason, like every time Pat thinks of me a strand of my hair is pulled out, but the truth is, the clasp just happens to snag my hair. It's like women who wear beautiful shoes that make their feet bleed.

11  In Japanese class today, we played a game. Except my Japanese teacher requested that I be her "assistant." As her assistant, I sat at my desk, alone, doing the previous night's math homework, not participating in the game. This is what happens when your linguistics develop to the point where you could be a team by yourself against the rest of the class and probably win.

12  That is all.