shameless plugs

Yeah, well, the proverbial river of ideas is still running dry. I guess that forces me to actually mention something about my life instead of keeping everyone at arms length, huh? Then again, it doesn't really matter what I write, when you think about it. You've already been sucked into the vortex and been afflicted with the infectious obsession to constantly press the 'Reload' button (that'd be Ctrl + R, just in case your mouse button is wearing thin), desperately hoping that maybe, just maybe I've updated my riveting diary.

Hah, that's even more bullshit than the Revolution Story! That's a fine piece of literature, by the way. This friend of Padhraig's that I've met a few times, Alan, he had the superior pleasure of reading the Revolution Story. According to Alan, The Cell is the most frightening movie he's ever watched in the course of his short little life. So, needless to say, I was laughing my ass off when he whimpered that my creation was more horrific than The Cell. Sweet Aya, the Revolution Story was intended to provoke laughter, not gut-wrenching fear! Oh, and in case you don't happen to know what the Revolution is, it's a movement against American pop artists. You know the drill -- Britney Spears, Sisquo, Nelly, Eminem, Dream, the whole sack of potatoes.

But yes, anyway. This diary wasn't intended to be a recruitment attempt. Even though I'll be your friend forever if you take the test.

I joined another ring yesterday. A slight modification of the title was needed, though. Man, I'm sorry, but as much as I love anime, I'm not sporting a ring called 'anime-babes.' Just -- no. No, all right? The ring description claims that membership is geared towards any fan of anime, not necessarily a drooling, trembling-because-of-a-stampede-of-hormones fool who melts into a puddle of sludge at the sight of an animated chick who may or may not have a nice rack.

Besides, the 'babe' part reminds me of that damn poor excuse of a song by David Bowie:

'You remind me of the babe.'

'What babe?'

'The babe with the power.'

'What power?'

'The power of voodoo.'

'Who do?'

'You do!'

A sad, sad day indeed.

Sweet Aya! The member that just happens to come after me in the aforementioned 'anime-babes' ring is -- is a Limp Bizkit fan! How can I tell, you ask?

Hey got bac from Reno yesterday at like 9 pm or sumthing like dat. I'm realli happi coz i had a lot of fun! me and mai cousins stayed at midway from like 6 pm to 2 am an' they had to like force us to leave. me and mai cousins hella cheated at one of the booths and won 4 big-ass dolphins!!! The guy dat worked there helped us. He was hella bored! It was the thing where u throw the little ping-pong ball into the lili-pad like things and the balls usualli bounce but the guy dat worked there filled a yellow one wit water so when the ping-pong ball hit it it didn't bounce away! yay and we took advantage of it and won four!! LOL

'Because they're illiterate,' comes the reply. I know exactly what state this person happens to live in, too. For those of you playing at home, the answer is -- bing bing bing! -- California! Yeah, it's that obvious. The sickening overusage of 'hella' sold them out.

Suddenly, I'm extremely disappointed in my koishii. Heh. Nah, just joking. It isn't his fault he's Californian. That was a joke, too. In case you couldn't tell. While we're at it, my entire life is a joke.

But damn, that's not even English anymore.

Speaking of spin-offs on the English language, some friend of mine shamelessly plugged a link into an IM window several months ago, and after digging through heaps of archives, victory is mine! Hah.

This highly informative article describes a variety of people you may come into contact with via the random chat feature of ICQ. To quote a former excerpt from 'The Phrases,' 'It's funny because it's true!' Here's a free sample, for your viewing pleasure:

DOCTOR HARDASS

Doctor Hardass is a tough guy! He don't take no shit from nobody online, and he's probably the biggest and baddest motherfucker you'll ever meet! Well, online, that is. In real life, he's just another scrawny 16-year old who is routinely beat up and forced to drink motor oil at school. However, as soon as he logs onto mom's AOL account, he instantly becomes one violent and aggressive guy, ready to kick your ass at the slightest provocation. Be warned: he has the ability to find your address, hunt you down, and kill you at the drop of a hat! Well, that's what he'll claim at least. In reality, Mom probably won't let him drive the family station wagon all the way to your house, so you're fairly safe.

EXAMPLE CONVERSATION:

YOU: Hey man, did you check out that site URL I just sent you?

DOCTOR HARDASS: fuck u u fucken faggot shitfucking fucker

DOCTOR HARDASS: im gunna hunt u down and break ur fucken neck u stuped asshole FUCK U!!!!

DOCTOR HARDASS: u fucken queer ass faggot pussy fucker gay homosexual fag faggy fucker fagot ass fuck!!!

DOCTOR HARDASS: stop being so fucken stuped u fucking fag fucker

DOCTOR HARDASS: im gonna through u thru a window and stomp on ur face with my combat boots u fag

YOU: Does that mean you got the URL?

So, with that said, here's the link. Make with the clicky-click. You know you want to.