diary flooding/plagiarism

YOUR NAME

(1) The singular boring question: What is your name?
Kathryn Elaine Nelsen, to my horrible misfortune.

(2) If you had been born a member of the opposite sex, what would your name have been?
My parents hadn't decided on a name had I been a boy.

(3) Would you name a child of yours after you?
Backing up a little, if I had a child I'd probably maul it with an inanimate object.

(4) If you had to switch first names with a friend of yours, who would you switch with?
I'd quick make friends with someone named Kate, switch names with her, then throw her carcass into a ditch.

(5) What's the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name?
No one misprounces it, but everyone spells it incorrectly.

(6) If you were to become famous, would you drop your last name (like Madonna, Cher, Roseanne)?
I'm afraid my name is a little too common for that.

DEEP THEOLOGICAL QUESTIONS

(7) Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?
For the most part, yeah.

(8) Do you think God has a gender?
No, I think God transcends gender, despite what the Bible claims. It's just easier to say 'He' than 'It,' and at the time fathers were the most important part of the family structure.

(9) Do you think science counteracts religion?
No.

(10) Do you believe in organized religion?
What's there to believe in? It exists.

(11) Where do you think we go when we die?
I guess I'll find out eventually, huh?

(12) Do you feel a little funny thinking about the questions in this section?
Not really.

HUMOR

(13) How easy is it to make you laugh?
That depends on your sense of humor.

(14) What person you know makes you laugh the most?
Pat and Resa.

(15) Do you laugh at jokes you know you shouldn't?
Nah, crude humor isn't very impressive.

(16) Do you tell jokes you know you shouldn't?
No thanks. That's just asking for a swift death.

(17) What words instantly make you laugh or at least smile?
'Sanitized for your protection.'

(18) What do you think is the funniest thing you've ever said or written?
The Revolution story, hands down.

MUSIC

(19) Do you ever dance to music when nobody's watching?
I don't dance. Wouldn't want to blind an innocent onlooker.

(20) What is/are the worst song(s) you have ever heard?
Click here and find out, yes?

(21) What song(s) do you wish you could understand a little better?
...Cryptic ones...? This seems a little too obvious, heheh.

(22) What song(s) are constantly in your head?
Constantly? I think that's what provokes the loss of sanity.

(23) What song(s) do you think describe your personality best?
Hopefully there aren't any.

(24) If you were to serenade the object of your affections, which song(s) would you use?
The object of my affections means too much to me, I wouldn't want his ears to bleed.

(25) If the object of your affections were to serenade you, what song(s) would you hope he or she used?
Doesn't matter. Isn't that the point of serenading in the first place? To choose a song that has personal significance for you, and not necessarily 'the object of your affections?'

MOVIES

(26) What movie(s) do you love that nobody else seems to?
I don't like very many movies.

(27) Do you agree with the idea that sequels are always worse than the original?
Most of the time that's true, but there've been a few good sequels.

(28) Who's your favorite Star Wars character?
THE EWOKS! After that, it'd be Luke. Yes, that's right, small imaginary creatures come before fellow humans.

(29) What kind of movie do you think there should be more of?
Uh, good ones? Heheh.

(30) What movie(s) do you simply not understand the appeal of?
Austin Powers.

FOOD

(31) When eating, are you more concerned with taste or healthiness?
Taste, since I don't like much junk food anyway.

(32) What's your favorite kind of cheese?
What kind of question is that?

(33) What do you think your answer to the previous question reveals about your personality?
That I think the previous question was pointless?

(34) If you knew exactly what went into Chinese food, hamburger meat, etc., would you still eat it?
Sure. But I ain't down with hotdogs.

(35) Do you ever feel guilty eating meat?
Just as long as it isn't a duck, I really don't care.

COMPUTERS

(36) Mac or PC?
Macs suck, PCs rule, 'nuff said.

(37) How much do you actually care about the inner workings of your computer, as long as it works?
As long as it works, I don't give a damn. Er, well... as long as it works and has a modem that downloads over 2KB/second, THEN I don't give a damn.

(38) Do you ever begin preferring IMs to other forms of conversation?
Yeah, sometimes.

(39) Do you find you're different talking through IMs than face-to-face or on the telephone?
I'm more willing to ramble over IMs.

(40) Have you ever ended bid on something on eBay and regretted it later?
No. Probably because eBay sucks, but that's just a guess.

THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES

(41) Have you ever wished you could experience being the other gender?
It'd be interesting.

(42) What do you love most about the other gender?
How they're not so hung up on make-up and clothes, and how they're so easy to talk to.

(43) What do you dislike most about the other gender?
It varies from person to person.

(44) What do you understand least about the other gender?
How they can take five minute showers.

CELEBRITIES

(45) Do you sometimes see a movie or watch a show just because a good-looking celebrity is in it?
People do that?

(46) What celebrity's autograph do you want most?
None. Celebrities are overpaid.

(47) Have people ever said you looked like a celebrity, and if so, who?
No, luckily.

(48) If there was to be a movie about you, who do you think should play you (in personality, looks or both)?
A sickly pale person who's afraid of the sun and hates people.

(49) Does it ever annoy you when you know someone is a celebrity but you can't remember why?
What the hell...?

(50) If you could enter any celebrity's mind like in "Being John Malkovich", whose would you enter?
Britney Spears, so I could commit suicide.

(51) Do you want to be John Malkovich?
Who the hell is John Malkovich?

NUMBERS

(52) Do you laugh when you hear or read the number 69?
No, I shake my head in pity to those that DO laugh when they hear or read the number 69.

(53) Were you lying about your answer to the previous question?
Why would I waste my time?

(54) Do you actually know your Social Security Number?
No. It's around somewhere.

(55) Do you actually know your IP address?
66... and... some other numbers.

(56) Do you know what an IP address is?
Obviously I do.

(57) Do you know the four-character extension on your ZIP code?
2620! WHOOHOO!

(58) Ever thought there were too many numbers floating around in our lives?
Never had that much free time on my hands.

(59) Does your head begin to hurt when you think of infinity, imaginary numbers, irrational numbers, etc.?
Not... quite...

(60) What do you think of pi?
It should've just stayed a food.

LOVE, SEX AND ALL THAT

(61) Did you get a little frightened or uncomfortable seeing this as a section title?
No, but the 'all that' bit made me suspicious.

(62) If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel?
Flattered, assuming that person bathes.

(63) Do you prefer getting to know someone first before dating them or going in "blind"?
Depends. I hated dating anyway, so it makes no difference.

(64) Could you carry on a relationship with someone with the same first name as a family member?
Yeah. Who cares?

(65) Have you ever wished it was more 'socially acceptable' for a girl to ask a guy out?
I thought it WAS socially acceptable for a girl to ask a guy out.

(66) What's your opinion on sex without emotional commitment?
It's cheap.

(67) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?
Sure have.

(68) Do you think the opposite sex finds you good-looking?
As word on the street goes, apparently so.

(69) Would you be willing to give up sex in exchange for an emotional commitment you knew would last?
Sure. Wouldn't think twice.

(70) Do you think the number of the last question was a coincidence?
Didn't notice until you mentioned it.

POSSESSIONS

(71) What is your favorite possession?
My computer.

(72) What physical, tangible possession do you want most?
Would a free plane ride and a place for someone to stay free of charge count as a 'physical, tangible possession?'

(73) How badly do you want it?
If the answer to the last question was yes, more than anything.

(74) Have you ever seen 'The Exorcist'?
The beginning. Possession scares the hell out of me.

(75) How long did it take you to understand why the last question is in this section?
Give me some credit, man.

HOLIDAYS

(76) Does Christmas music too far away from Christmas annoy you?
Christmas music annoys me PERIOD.

(77) How old do you think you will be before you stop liking getting older?
When I turn 18, I suppose.

(78) What was the best Halloween costume you ever had?
Death. I had a scythe and everything.

(79) What was the worst Halloween costume you ever had?
Cinderella. Huge contrast between 78 and 79, huh?

(80) What holiday do you think has still managed to retain its original meaning?
There's a holiday that's retained it's original meaning?

(81) There are currently no federal holidays during August. How do you feel about that?
I, frankly, don't give a damn.

MEMORIES

(82) How good is your short-term memory?
Depends what I'm trying to remember.

(83) How good is your long-term memory?
See previous answer.

(84) What is your earliest memory?
Being at daycare.

(85) What is your happiest memory?
June 19th!

(86) What is your strangest memory?
I'm sure I could come up with something if I thought really hard, but I'm not in the mood to take the effort to do so.

(87) What song, movie, etc. do you wish you could memorize?
What a waste of brain space, geez.

TEARS

(88) What movie makes/made you cry?
'My Neighbor Totoro.' I laughed until I cried.

(89) What book makes/made you cry?
Don't remember.

(90) What song makes/made you cry?
Songs don't make me cry.

(91) What makes/made you laugh so hard you cried?
Lots of stuff. See question 88.

Wow, you actually read this far? You must be far beyond the line of inconsolibility.

Oh, and by the way � the bottom tidbit of this entry of Bryan's, it was heartlessly stolen from Adam Sandler, possibly the worst comedian to have set foot upon the earth other than Mike Myers.