the japanese way

thursday, it was back to school.

after chapel i went straight to gym class, where we played volleyball. gym is a blocked class. the first half is set aside for practice. the second half, we compete.

im really bad at sports. im thin, but im out of shape. on top of that, i cant seem to kick the habit of not busting my ass to try to catch something that has a good chance of hitting me in the fucking face. as a result i end up standing around the whole game and pissing my team off.

after the bombing of hiroshima, a japanese man (cant remember who) was quoted as saying, "we dont know how to surrender!" i guess this is still the case over 50 years later. the japanese are clueless when it comes to losing. ive seen people cry on national tv after getting the axe on game shows, and there wasnt even a prize involved.

i think i saw my first japanese sore loser on sports day. a kobejogakuin student lost during one of the competitions and was bawling. i had no idea why she was crying. it never occurred to me that an 18-year-old girl would openly cry just because she was indirectly responsible for the loss of her team. i asked around and no one would tell me what was going on. FINALLY someone clued me in. i was floored. i mean, up until recently i was a poor loser. but for a high school student to get moody after losing a chess game against her boyfriend when she can count the number of times shes played chess on one hand is kind of rare. americans just dont put up with that kind of bullshit. it surprises me that the japanese dont consider those kinds of outbursts a loss of face.

anyway. my team lost every volleyball game we played, undoubtedly partly because of me. thats always how it is. youd think after all that losing id be able to take it more gracefully, but i guess not.

my japanese teammates were torn. do they burst into tears and risk letting down the famous japanese mask of hospitality? a few of them ran out of the gym crying, but more often than not theyd try to give me pointers or just ignore me entirely. it was pretty frustrating. i was already beating myself up for trying so hard and STILL not being good enough, and their little mind games on top of that? further still, i had gym class first period, so id be in a shitty mood all day.

pat asked me why i didnt just switch into another gym class. i guess i hadnt thought of it, but thats definitely something i wouldve done before april. now, though, it doesnt make any sense. pat said something like, "you HAVE changed." i did, however, switch into ping-pong for second term (i had originally signed up for volleyball again). im not a martyr.

during study hall i got an email from my mom. the week before i had asked resa to buy the biggest bag of cheese curds she could find at the mall of america and deliver them to my mom in time for mothers day. she did (thanks again, buddy), and my mom emailed me all about it. she was so excited.

i spent 2 full class periods writing a letter to stephen (who STILL hasnt written me back!), with a break in between for gakupa practice. they have mailboxes on campus, plus they sell stamps at the school store, so i decided to mail the letter during passing time. there were 2 slots - one said packages and the other said letters and postcards. i put the letter in the letters and postcards box, and just as i was about to head to class i noticed "international mail" written under "packages." i put the letter in the wrong slot. i think i spent like 5 or 10 minutes trying to reach down inside the mailbox (dont ever try this, because it doesnt work) and looking like a dumbass at the same time. the letter got there okay, though, so whatever.

ashley, susan, and i all had (unsupervised) study hall together in the library 5th period. i popped in on the middle of a playboy bunny discussion.

the japanese LOVE the playboy bunny. my host family even had a playboy bunny bath mat. but whats really funny is seeing like 30-year-old mothers pushing baby carriages wearing a playboy bunny t-shirt or carrying a playboy bunny tote. at first i thought, "well, they must not know what playboy is," but they do. ive asked more than one person. im not sure if they know the implication that goes along with it, though. or maybe they do and its just further evidence that japan is 20 years behind america socially.

after school i waited around for moegi for over an hour because she forgot to tell me she had a club meeting. i looked for her but couldnt find her anywhere, so i just left without her. i wasnt watching where i was going and walked straight into a low-hanging pine branch, and i almost started crying. up until mid-july id start crying at the drop of a hat. i got pretty emotional after living here for all one one month. anyway, it only took a few seconds to pull myself together, but holy shit.

i walked fast and took all the rapid trains and got home in time to talk to pat a little.

after dinner my host mother set out orange slices for dessert. i stared at them for a good minute or so, trying to remember how you eat oranges that arent clementines (im so spoiled). like, i remembered the old trick where you put a whole slice in your mouth, bite down, and smile so all you can see is the peel. but i drew a blank as far as the peel and the seeds were concerned. i decided to just play it by ear and tried sucking out the middle, but that didnt look right. i couldnt remember ever having so much stuff left over. i must have eaten less than 50% of the orange. juice was dripping down my arms. i had to clean up afterwards. it reminded me of this picture i have of pat called "tootiredtobeclean.jpg."

friday, may 7th, 2004

friday was tea ceremony club, so i went to school in one of my new $150 skirts. i was looking really hot. a girl stopped me on my way to chapel and said, "keito, se-ku-shi!" sexy. i just laughed, because i dont know how to say "damn straight" in japanese.

i pretty much spent the entire day reading kuroi ame (black rain). i had to skip out on gakupa practice because of my skirt, though. did i mention that i LOVE that skirt?

because my lunch hour was spent at gakupa practice, i ended up eating during japanese class. morimoto-sensei is so laid back. ashley, hyemi, and susan, on the other hand, had eaten that morning BEFORE gakupa, so they were all looking at my sandwiches, green with envy. susan actually asked for my fruit cup.

after school was tea ceremony. susan couldnt make it, so it was just ashley and me. we got all of our tea ceremony utensils, boxed and wrapped, compliments of kobejogakuin. there was a pamphlet inside from a famous store in kyoto. this is what we got:

- a fukusa (fine silk cloth), which is used to clean the tea container and the scoop before and after the ceremony. there are a number of ways to fold the fukusa, but ill get into that later.

- a sensu, or fan. the fan is used more club purposes. at the beginning of a club meeting you enter the tatami room (theres a special way of doing this thats pretty complicated so i wont get into it). you sit japanese-style with your fan behind you. when the teachers enter the tatami room, you place the fan in front of you. where you put the fan depends on how many years youve been studying tea ceremony. the fan serves no real purpose in the actual ceremony.

- special paper. i study chakai (literally "tea meeting"), as opposed to chaji, which refers to a full tea ceremony with kaiseki (a light meal). instead of a light meal, we eat japanese sweets, which typically have anko (soy bean paste) inside. anyway, not unlike how youd put a piece of cake on a napkin at a party, this special paper is used for the tea ceremony sweets.

- a tiny pinky-sized knife. used for eating the sweets.

- a cute little bag to put everything in.

talking about the fan reminded me... ashley has this korean friend who says that korean fans serve a dual purpose as a WEAPON. damn, why couldnt i have gotten interested in korea instead of japan?

anyway, 2 college students came to teach us how to fold the fukusa, since the teachers were busy. first we learned how to fold the fukusa before putting it away, either in the aforementioned "cute little bag" or in your kimono. then, how to fold it before cleaning the tea container and scoop. lastly, how to fold it before tucking it into your skirt. ideally youd tuck it into your obi (kimono sash). all three ways are incredibly strict and have exact step-by-step instructions. its nuts.

we also practiced receiving the ceremony, which is easier than giving the ceremony. someone who is receiving the ceremony eats the sweet and drinks the tea (and there are specific directions for that too, of course), but the person giving the ceremony has to clean the utensils, make the tea, and then clean the utensils again. its incredibly complicated and even now i dont quite have it down.

by the end of the day my feet were raw from my $8 strappy sandals. its september and i still have scars.

my host family had broadband, so i watched a few clips from the daily show online. they did a story on a speech president cowboy had given the week before or something. it started out with: "i was going to start off tonight telling some self-deprecating jokes... but then i couldnt think of any mistakes i had made to be self-deprecating about." you cant be serious. im just surprised he knows what self-deprecating means.

then:

bush: it really gets to me when the critics say i havent done enough for the economy. i mean, look at what ive done for the book publishing company.

jon stewart: hah, hes right, there are a lot of books... and... he is an awful president...

janeane garofalo said it best: "at this point anyone voting for bush is just doing so out of spite."

(if you want to write to me, my address in japan is here. sorry about the broken link in the last entry.)