kicking japan in the nuts

the "picnic" sucked. the whole day i was angry at God. it got to the point where i was threatening him. like, if i dont get rock-hard thighs out of this... then what? i dont think i came up with anything. any consequence, i mean. luckily its not like theres any expiration date on that kind of shit.

anyway, highlights. my class threw a party for me once we got to the top of the mountain. it was pretty lame, but whatever. we sat in a big circle and everyone went around and introduced themselves, first and last names and yoroshiku onegaishimasu. it was a total waste of time, since im notoriously bad at remembering japanese names. i was, at least. and they passed food around. chips and candy and stuff like that. snack food. people asked me questions, and ayumi translated. somebody asked if i had a boyfriend and i said, "a little," because up until like 3 weeks ago thats what i told people. now i say no. ayumi translated the whole thing into japanese, so what i heard was, "japanese japanese japanese A LITTLE japanese japanese." i cracked up when she said "a little" in english.

after lunch it was another three hours down the mountain. there were places where it was steep and slippery, sand and gravel, and youd have to feel around for a handhold. where you had to cross rivers. just like in the movies, with rapids and slick stepping stones. i kept thinking that if we did something like that in america everybodys parents would be lining up to sue the school. i could totally see boys at my school dicking around or whatever and falling off the fucking mountain.

all the girls were having a blast, because theyre crazy. the only explanation i can think of is that the japanese get off on suffering. evidence: a japanese woman will wear jeans, a tank top, then a t-shirt over that, and finally a long-sleeved button-up cardigen, when its sticky and like 90 degrees outside, and sweat bullets. but the kicker is that they complain about how hot it is. one time at school someone was bitching to ashley about the heat, so ashley told her to take off some goddamn clothes. my hero!

but i never did get my rock-hard thighs.