everything will be okay

thursday, april 22th, 2004

i woke up on thursday feeling a little better. if id been in minnesota i definitely would have gone to school, no question. but because kobejogakuin is over an hour and a half away (not to mention ON A MOUNTAIN), i was hesitant. i am not one of those people who will absolutely refuse to take time off from school/work and consequently end up sick for a month or whatever. my host mother assured me that everything would be okay, though, so i went.

i sat out on gym and immediately afterwards had a study hall, so all in all i spent three hours studying japanese.

i saw a HUGE spider in the library, running at top speed. i flipped out and shrieked, "OH GOD!" i looked up. a few people had stopped what they were doing to see what all the excitement was about. i added in japanese, "spider!" at that point they lost interest, which was completely unexpected. its an all-girls school. the only explanation i can offer is that the japanese word for "spider" also means "cloud," so maybe they thought i was going apeshit over clouds, or something. i dont know.

on the train i reflected on my favorite part of white oleander, when claire asks astrid, "what was the best day of your life?" and astrid answers, "today." im trying really hard to live by that.

friday, april 23rd, 2004

when i was first registering for classes here, i picked out an art class for my 2-hour elective block on fridays. i used to LOVE drawing. like, to the point where i wanted to be a cartoonist. but in the end i changed my mind. for lots of reasons, but mainly because i realized that i preferred realism to comic book style. i still considered art as a career possibility, though. in the meantime i continued drawing constantly. in 8th grade i even started taking commissions. however, three years ago (when i started high school, now that i think about it) i pretty much stopped drawing. since then its become more of a hobby. anyway, i decided on an art class because i kind of wanted to pick up where i left off. but after my first class it was obvious that, while i have improved these last three years (i think), it would take extensive practice to catch up to the level i wouldve been at now had i kept up with drawing. because of this, i decided to switch into calligraphy class instead. so now i have calligraphy twice a week, on wednesdays and fridays.

kumahara-sensei, the calligraphy teacher, presented me with two brand new calligraphy brushes, sumi ink, and a japanese bamboo roll-up brush holder (fudemaki).

hyemi and susan were there also. they didnt particularly like calligraphy, and i can see why. two hours constantly practicing the same kanji is totally draining, especially when (1) its something simple like "mountain" or "river" (both have 3 strokes) and (2) no matter how much you practice it looks like crap.

i had tea ceremony club after school. i loved it, even though ashley drove me crazy. for some reason i kept stumbling over "i didnt want to eat it" (dont ask) and ashley, who i was not speaking to at the time, said, "looks like you need to study japanese more." what? later she was talking to susan and she informed her that geisha are prostitutes, which is completely untrue.

i said, "geisha arent prostitutes."

and she said, "well, not according to our definition." i dont know what she meant by that. yes, geisha entertain men (and sometimes women) for an hourly fee, but so do comedians, tv personalities, etc.

and i said, "they dont sell themselves."

and she said, "yes, they do." at this point she was starting to look annoyed.

i tried telling her about geisha, a life, a book written by a formar geisha, mineko iwasaki. i highly recommend it, by the way. anyway, throughout the book she goes into all the reasons why geisha arent prostitutes. first of all, they are so wealthy that its unnecessary. secondly, men arent even allowed past the main gate of the okiya (where geisha live). thirdly, kimono are incredibly difficult to put on and take off (something i know from experience). and on and on and on.

but ashley cut me off and said, "thats nice." fucking bitch.

but despite ashley, despite the fact that i was sitting japanese-style and "listening" to a language i hardly understand, id never been so happy. as soon as i admitted that to myself i thought of pat. i mean, wasnt i happy with him? and, of course, i was. but i decided that my happiness had nothing to do with the current circumstances. it was more that, at that moment, i was content with myself. i felt really zen.

that night i watched the royal tenenbaums on tv. my host family has satellite, and, fortunately, my host mother loves watching american movies with japanese subtitles.

actually, the japanese movie industry hasnt been doing well for the past 10 years or so. over 90% of the movies that hit theaters here are foreign. score!

"4 minutes, 48 seconds. were all dead." - chaz

saturday, april 24th, 2004

speaking of movies, on saturday i saw kill bill vol. 2. i liked it, although i was expecting something totally different. like, after i saw kill bill vol. 1, i left the theater crackling with energy. badass fight scenes, animated sequences, japanese... it was perfect. vol. 2 just wasnt as polished.

also, i missed the entire part with pai mei. the english subtitles were cut out and replaced with japanese subtitles. fortunately, pat filled me in later.

sunday, april 25th, 2004

i woke up on sunday with a stuffy nose, which was ironic. the week before, when i stayed home sick with a scratchy throat, my first thought had been, "well, at least my nose isnt running. hah, that would SUCK!" what is this, a joke?

anyway. for weeks moegi and i had been planning to check out a big flower festival on rokko mountain, and on sunday we finally got around to it. first we headed to the music box museum, which was all right. im not big on museums.

the flower festival itself was incredibly disappointing, namely because there were NO FLOWERS. AT ALL.

i got to try kuromame (black soybeans). heres a picture. i really, really liked them. apparently theyre special new years sweets.

rokko pasture was PACKED. the highlights:

- taking pictures. i snapped photos of sheep, rabbits, goats, horses, ponies, and ducks.

- sheep-shaving. i stopped to watch three sheep get shaved. all three were flipped on their backs and looked pitifully defeated. but the best part was the huge crowd that had gathered to watch.

later i found out that my host father had VIDEOTAPED THE WHOLE THING. within minutes i had uploaded the video onto my host familys PC, signed online, and IMed everyone on my buddylist. knowing that it would sound extremely questionable, i offered absolutely no backstory whatsoever and simply said, "hey, wanna see some sheep get shaved?" and everybody, without exception, agreed to it. no questions asked. i was floored.

monday, april 26th, 2004

took another sick day.

since coming to japan, i have been relatively stress-free, emotionally. however, my body has been freaking out. my face broke out (although its cleared up over the past week). ive gotten sick twice. i wake up exhausted after like, 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep. i skipped my period last month. its ridiculous.

tuesday, april 27th, 2004

the weather was sucky on tuesday, so keiko, ayumi and i made kleenex teru teru bouzu, small dolls made of paper or cloth that are hung outside hoping for fine weather. keiko pulled out a kleenex pocket pack and handed out two kleenexes per person. we crumpled up one of the kleenexes, rolled it between our hands. the second kleenex was draped over the first, twisted, and tied off with a rubberband. finally, we drew faces and added other finishing touches. the end result looked kind of like a ghost (click here for a picture).

we all tacked our good luck charms up on the bulletin board. without thinking, i pushed a thumbtack through my teru teru bouzus neck. poor ayumi almost had a heart attack.

in a sudden burst of creativity, i pulled out a new kleenex. i wrote "bad weather sucks" in all caps and drew in balloons and hearts for extra flourish. i also added a speech bubble so that, when strategically placed, one of the teru teru bouzu would be "saying" "YES" in agreement.

as soon as i tacked the sign in place, the girls read outloud very slowly, "BAD-oh... WEH-zahh... SUCK-su. ehhh?"

ayumi turned to me and said, "SUCK-su? what it means?"

"uhh..."

i started off by explaining that "sucks" is slang, and that "bad weather sucks" basically translates into "i dont like bad weather." next came the hard part: that "sucks" is actually short for "sucks dick." i wasnt sure how comfortable theyd be with me blurting out "penis" in japanese, so i wrote it on a slip of paper (in english, because i dont know how to say "sucks" in japanese. theres probably like 10 different translations depending on what it is youre sucking) for easy disposal. i changed "dick" to "penis" in case they wanted to look it up. as it turned out, not only did they not look up "penis," but they didnt seem shocked. probably because they already knew the literal definition of "sucks," but i was surprised nonetheless. the japanese girls that hosted us two summers ago were really, really innocent. like, dis host sister refused to say "pimp." and once nick and i looked up "genitals" on akikos electronic translator, and she frantically cleared the history.

anyway. in cooking class we made chow mein and dango, japanese meatballs. i hummed a powerman 5000 song while i chopped up vegetables. i actually dont really like powerman 5000, but at that moment, wearing my host mothers frilly pink apron and cooking chinese cuisine at a private japanese all-girls school, it just seemed like the right thing to do. i sang a little metallica, too.

ill stop here for now. im watching an anime series about tennis. what the shit?