i have a sexy bikini

2� Every afternoon for the past week, I played Final Fantasy III in my underwear.

3� On Sunday I tried making macaroni.

4� On Sunday I learned why it is that boxes of macaroni specify how many cups of water to use. Because if all of the water evaporates away, the macaroni noodles will melt to the bottom of the pot, and then that pot will have to sit in the sink for three or four days filled to the brim with piping hot sudsy water.

5� So lately I've been eating two or three bowls of cereal a day.

6� I started reading White Oleander sometime last week. I thought I'd read a few chapters before bed, and then suddenly it was two o'clock in the morning and I was one hundred pages in. I slid a tissue between the pages to mark my place and tossed it to the floor. I've been reading that book faster than a French border patrol with a pair of running shoes and a coupon for cigarettes.

7� Last night Di and I drove in the rain and played video games in her basement and talked. Nick came over, too, and we watched Trigger Happy TV and a slice of The Daily Show. We ate chicken and bratwursts and around midnight Nick drove me home and I listed all the reasons I don't like Jenna.

8� Resa and I had an adventure today and went to Walgreens. Then we found an arcade and played Dance Dance Revolution.

9� On Monday, Resa, Greg and I sat in Resa's car outside Greg's house and I listened to a joke about a yellow brick.

10� Also on Monday, Resa and I watched Legally Blonde and ate an assortment of M&Ms.

11� People used to think I was smart. But then one day in English class in eighth grade, a lanky boy said that smart people have messy handwriting. So I said, "My handwriting is neat." And he said, "You're stupid."

12� Yesterday, Di's mom told me I was as sharp as a tack, her voice flat with sarcasm.

13� Hi. I'm not stupid.

14� Pat was supposed to call me back, but he never did.

15� Pat used to call me "genius head."

16� Di just called. She saw an advanced screening of Johnny English today with Greg, and they're going to come see me before I "run away to California."

17� I'll probably write a few entries while I'm there, in between lunches at El Pollo Loco and popping nickels into arcades and relaxing in the spa with Pat in my sexy bikini.