ungodly agony and an assortment of links

My ear hurts like a motherfucker. Due to my dedication in taking three pills daily, it had been painless for almost a week. Yesterday I went to the doctor and was told that this time I do not have an ear infection -- my ear canal is merely infected. Apparently this does not count as an ear infection, even though there is an infection in my ear. I almost asked, but you know what? They can diagnose my ailment however the hell they want, as long as I get my fucking medication. And I did, and after using the said prescribed ear drops, it seemed to mysteriously amplify my pain. For the rest of the night I sat curled up in a chair watching "The X-Files" and "Unsolved Mysteries," and later that night I woke up twice and stumbled downstairs to swallow two ibuprofen capsules, weeping and waiting for the blistering pain to subside enough so I could fall back asleep. I concluded that the sudden onslaught of agony was either instigated by the new bottle of ear drops I had purchased at the pharmacy earlier that day, or the way the doctor zealously prodded what can only be described as a Q-tip into my ear, even though it was five inches long and only had wisps of cotton clinging desperately to one end. But I digress. I had to stay home from school today, given the degree to which I was suffering and my school's no-tolerance policy towards over-the-counter drugs. So, instead I slept until noon, briefly visited Pat's to see his new arrangement of Christmas lights, purchased a smoothie from Jamba Juice, and watched standup comedians and "The Daily Show" on Comedy Central.

Last week I found an assortment of links via Sam. For what must have been thirty minutes, I had a conversation with A.L.I.C.E. (or Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity) -- here's an excerpt I saved, because in my haste I didn't have time to take a picture of the screen:

Kate: Live in your Kate, play in ours. [I <3 slogan generators.]
A.L.I.C.E.: And what is it like to live in your Kate, play in ours?
Kate: Hell if I know. I'm Kate.
A.L.I.C.E.: Good gossip: You are Kate.

I also took a haunting quiz that proves that most people can't tell their ass from their elbow. After much practice I was able to only get two incorrect. The quiz belittled me and accused me of cheating. And it was right, which depressed me, because it had outsmarted me twice.

And lastly, I found some singing horses. You have to click on each horse in order to begin the chorus of song, in case you're staring into the blinking eyes of four horses waiting for the song and dance to begin.

And yes, I'm leaving now.