strawberry waffle-cookies

Upon having to read The Odyssey for school, I have concluded than an epic is a piece of literature in which the author randomly spasms from topic to topic and attempts to confuse the living fuck out of his readers. The only reason The Odyssey is internationally renowned is because no one wanted to sacrifice their façades of intelligence to admit that they had no idea what the hell was going on throughout the entire book and that it sucked broken monkeys off the floor.

But yeah, so last night for no particular reason, I waltzed over to Nick's house to watch the critically acclaimed Akira, and my commentary on it is as follows -- sweet fuck. If, on my four-hour car trip down to Iowa, I observed a cow performing cartwheels, spinning madly, and emitting ear-piercing ba-WHOOP! noises, I would be only slightly less confused and appalled than I was during my Akira viewing-session.

And now, because I was begged to by Resa, I've arrived at Clif's house, even though it was too dark outside to distinguish what the address was, so to compensate I squinted like a mentally incompetent fool at a side of the house that ended up being completely blank and listened to the car idle softly while an unidentified man stared derisively out the window at me. Since then, the house has almost exploded a total of four times (I was in the process of saying 'three times,' but I just heard someone scream 'FUCK!' and begin slamming a log against the fireplace), and then this TV that must be older than my dead grandparents has refused to operate with a foreign DVD player hooked up to it. In order for it to begin quasi-working without blank, blue screens included in the trail mix, the color resolution had to be reduced dramatically (reminds me of those popsicle commercials where the dog whines, 'The colors, the colors!'), and now it's acting as though it's an elderly barnacle trying desperately to cling to a cruise ship and failing miserably.

In other words, I'm bored as hell and seriously considering discovering whether or not strawberry waffle-cookies are flammable.